AmesBlog

It is currently Thursday, September 28th 2:01amj. I just copied and pasted my blogs into a Word Doc. and completely wiped out all of my blogs and archives from the last three years. I guess the time has come for my to wipe the slate clean and move on. I'd rather have hard copies of my writing bits anyway.

I may still occasionally blog here. I've had 12,256 visits and thousands and thousands of comments. I'm greatful for the support and sense of community here.

I've had a rough go the last few years and Tblog has served well as a sounding board so that I could have somewhere to lean and vent. Lord knows I don't have any friends, or worthy friends. I spend my nights awake, day dreaming of sleeping and sleeping during the days dreaming of being awake. It's a constant cycle that drains me. University life has really taken a chunk of life out of me, my relationship with my family and husband is strained and I have lost myself somewhere along the way.

I don't know who I am anymore or what I want. I've spent so much time thinking of and for others and rarely thinking of myself that somewhere along the lines I let myself slip through the cracks. The only things I really do for myself anymore is shower, watch tv or maybe check e-mail. I don't know what I would do if I could just think for myself and not have to consider everyone else, or their thoughts and feelings. I grow so tired of thinking of everyone but me, and when it comes down to it, they never think of me or ask me how I am. Even when I'm at my worst. I'm off to bed, to stare at the ceiling wishing and wondering what life would be if I were in it.

Ames